chapter THIRTYSEVEN.

Dan and Serena lay together on his full-size bed, her head resting on his chest and his head resting on hers. He stroked her hair gently and she allowed her eyes to flutter shut. Ever since she'd arrived at the Humphrey loft she'd been trying to trick herself into thinking that nothing between Dan's dad and her mom had went on yesterday. She tried to block it out of her mind and pretend their love did not exist, but seeing her boyfriend just brought it all back. . .

She loved Dan - really, she did - but every time she looked at him now, she didn't see the same person. Of course his face wasn't hideously distorted all of a sudden and he hadn't dyed his hair; he still looked like the same Daniel Humphrey she knew and loved. . . But after eavesdropping on Rufus and Lily's 'private' conversation from the bathroom and after hearing them have sex right on the living room couch, Serena couldn't help feeling a little awkward and dirty whenever she was in her boyfriend's arms.

Dan could sense her unease by the heavy silence that drenched the room.

But as strange as it seemed, he didn't feel nearly as awkward or different as the young blonde.

Of course he wasn't some pervert who got off on thinking he and Serena were step-siblings, but he knew by now that they were far too deep in their relationship - too deep in love - to be letting some silly technicality come between them. He loved Serena and she loved him, and that was all that mattered. . . Now all he needed to do was prove that to his girlfriend.

He slid out from under her and then swung one leg around her waist so that they were locked together at the hips, him on top and her on the bottom. Then he bent his head down and began kissing her with as much passion he could muster. . . But to no avail. While he was kissing to save his life, Serena was hardly giving him anything.

He swallowed hard and then leaned back a bit so that he could lock eyes with her, one of his hands falling to her luxurious blonde hair and fingering several locks of it for a moment. "Serena, what's wrong?" he asked. Although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer, he was becoming genuinely concerned - not just for her, but for their relationship.

"You've barely said a word to me all day."

Serena sighed heavily and then ran a hand through her hair, feeling guilty and cruel and weak all at once. She didn't want to hurt Dan any more, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that what they were doing to eachother was wrong - what with their parents doing the exact same thing to eachother as well.

Serena wriggled out of his tender grip and sat up straight so that her shoulders were resting against the headboard of his bed. "I'm sorry, Dan. . . It's just. . . This thing with our parents, and. . ." She chewed on her lower lip, confusion and nervousness taking over all else.

Dan hung his head, sighed, and then lifted himself up, retreating back to his original spot on the bed. "It's weird," he ventured, running a hand through his dark brown hair.

Serena looked at him cautiously. "It's weird. . . and it's unsettling and it's different, all at once."

"Has 'weirdness' ever stopped us before, Serena?" He glanced out his bedroom window and then at Cedric, who was perched atop his end table, but for whatever reason he couldn't quite bring himself to look at his girlfriend.

"I mean yeah, it's a little weird and 'different' now that we've witnessed our parents re-living their horrific grunge-rock sex-love of the eighties--" Serena flashed him a warning glance as if to say You're not helping.

So he went on: "But. . . I'm different. You took a chance on me even though everyone in your life told you not to. . ." Then he finally looked at her and cracked one of his sarcastically-charming grins. "And look how well I turned out."

Serena couldn't resist giving him her own smile and then she threw a pillow at his head, giggling that four-year-old giggle of hers. "And you thought I was the conceited one."

If she were to make a list of the reasons why she loved Dan, him being able to make her smile even in her worst moment would be the list's number one, with a bullet.

She continued grinning for the duration of her time in the Humphrey loft, even as he threw the pillow back at her and even as she climbed on top of him and gave him the grandest, most tender kiss she could muster. . . And even as their clothes fell away and they slid under the sheets.

Dan was right. Love conquered all, and so what if their parents shared the same love for each other as Serena and Dan? If they were really in love, then they'd be able to put it aside and kiss without feeling awkward or guilty. . . And what a coincidence, because that's exactly what Serena was doing.


Someone get me a violin and start rolling the cameras! It's this kind of stuff that makes us girls weep and swoon whenever we watch those adorable 'chick flicks,' like Breakfast at Tiffany's. The title of this one should be something like Lonely Boy Wins the Girl, don't you think? Send me your suggestions and a script and we'll talk. Perhaps it'll be a new hit series, starring our very own D and S! You never know. . .

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYSIX.

Blair was afraid that while she'd been holding last night in high regards all day and had been daydreaming incessantly about what would happen next in her rapidly-reviving social life while holed up in AP French, Chuck was just thinking they'd spent the night in Central Park together, silent as they braved the freezing cold weather. . . And nothing more.

She didn't want to assume that everything in her life would just fall into place anymore - she'd done that far too many times to count, and she didn't want to fool herself again.

Which is why, directly after shopping with Kati, Isabel, Penny, Hazel, and Elise, she'd had all her bags sent home and was heading straight to Chuck's penthouse in the Waldorf towncar at the moment, her red-stockinged legs cross as she gazed anxiously out the tinted window. What would Chuck do when he saw her? Slam the door in her face? Run as far away as possible? Scoop her into his arms and kiss her until she couldn't breathe?

She sighed. Too much scenarios.

Blair was completely aware by now that boys and girls thought on entirely different wavelengths, and she knew that while her head had been spinning at the thought of Chuck ever since Central Park, he was probably going about the day like usual, dozing off through classes, flirting with the odd bystander, and smoking weed.

Just the thought made her heart cave in a little.

The door to the Bass penthouse had been left unlocked by its last user, so Blair let herself right in, pulling the door open and stepping inside. She recognized the marble floors and the abstract paintings and the antique furniture immediately - after all, Chuck was one of the children she grew up with, so therefore she knew his house as well as she knew her own - but something about stepping inside its walls with the feeling she currently had fluttering around in her stomach seemed foreign and a bit scary to her.

"Hello?" she called out meekly, her voice a bit uneasy.

The intense silence that permeated throughout the home suggested that it was empty. Blair walked over to a nearby end table. On it was a boquet of hydranges and an exquisitely-framed photograph. Not surprisingly, the photograph was of Chuck and Nate together. It had obviously been taken sometime over the summer because they both had their shirts torn off, revealing their toned and tanned arms. Their hair looked touseled and windblown and they were standing on the deck of Nate's boat, The Charlotte, which he and his dad had built together up in Maine.

Both boys had big grins on their faces and for once it wasn't because they were stoned - it was simply because they were both extremely glad to be spending their summer with each other, because together they were always unstoppable and unbroken. They complimented eachother and they'd grown up together. . . It made sense for them to be best friends. Chuck was strong and manipulative and fearless while Nate was intense and smart and charming.

Blair's heart caved in even more as she gazed down at the picture, realizing now that the sole reason the two boys were no longer friends was because of her. . . It was all her fault.

Swallowing hard, Blair forced away tears of remorse and self-loathe and then set the picture carefully on its stand. She turned on her heel, making her way back to the front door.

What am I doing here? she asked herself, suddenly feeling incredibly foolish. She'd been absolutely crazy to think that she and Chuck would ever be compatible and would ever get back together. . . There was just too much that threatened to seperate them wherever they'd go.

Whenever they were at school, they would always have to face the judgemental and bitter stares of their peers and whenever they'd attend a party together they'd constantly be forced to hear the disgusted whispers of their parents and their 'friends'. . . They'd never be able to work.

Blair shook her head, trying to shove her own voice out of her mind. She grasped the doorknob desperately, but just as she pulled it open she heard footsteps coming down the long, red-carpeted hallway. She wiped the tears that had gathered in her dark brown eyes, shut the door, and turned around to see who it was. And indeed, it was the boy that had plagued her daydreams all during school; the boy whom she could never seem to take her eyes off whenever he entered the room.

As you might have guessed, that boy's name was Charles Bass.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his hairstyle mimicking that of the one he'd been sporting in the picture: wild. His eyes looked a little bloodshot, but he wasn't smiling goofily like he did whenever he was high - those piercing brown eyes must have been reddish and glassy for some other reason. His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned and he was brandishing a crystal tumbler of scotch in one hand.

Blair's stomach flipped as soon as she saw him and she felt her cheeks heating up with a mixture of enthrallment and embarassment. She cleared her throat and took a few wary steps closer to him. "I, um. . . I came to give you this." She waved his phone under his nose briefly. "You must have dropped it in the grass at the Park."

Chuck looked from Blair's face, to his phone, and then back at her face, without extending an arm to grab the device from her. "That's. . . why you stopped by?" He took a prim sip of scotch and then set it on the ornate, decorative shelf that he stood beside. "You think I'd believe that for one second?" Blair looked lost for a moment. "Oh come on, Waldorf. I know you stole it from me just to have an excuse to come knocking on my door for a visit."

Blair scoffed. "And just when I thought you were toning down your level of conceit, you go and say something like that."

"Oh stop it. You know you love me!"

Blair rolled her eyes and chuckled bitterly. Then she thrust her arm outward, her fingers still clutching his phone. Chuck grinned as if he'd just won some sort of award and then placed his hand over hers, their fingers brushing against eachother as the phone changed persons.

But just as she was about to whirl around and storm out the door and he was about to shove the device back into his pocket and down the rest of his drink, a feeling of electricity and desire ran through their fingertips and instead of turning away from each other, Chuck pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her back and proceeding to kiss her fiercely.

The kiss contained more passion and anger and love than either of them had ever felt and they both felt a little dizzy as soon as it was initiated.

But that didn't stop them from tearing eachother's tops off and walking through the hallway with their eyes closed, bumping into antique statues and Renaissance paintings as they made their way in the vague direction of Chuck's lush bedroom. Blair dug her nails into his chest and his fingers roamed throughout her wavy brown hair, and even though they were a little mad at each other, that madness was converted into love, somehow.

And the rest is history.


Forgiveness. It's a strange and foreign word to some, but to others it comes so easily. . . For B and C, forgiveness is one of the hardest actions to convey. But it's good to see they were able to get over their differences long enough to shove eachother's tongues down their throats and ravish eachother relentlessly - Hey, who's complaining?

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYFIVE.

Jenny ran a hand through her blonde hair and shoved the thick doors to Constance Billard open eagerly. It was already four-thirty and the school's students were technically supposed to get out at three, but the reason she was so late was because she'd been held up in art class - her last period of the day - as her teacher explained why she thought Jenny was the right student to do the hymnals for their school in that 'magnificent calligraphy of hers.'

And then Mrs. Braff had gone on for what seemed like a lifetime about how lacking the educational system seemed to be getting in this day and age and how enormously proud she was of Jenny for steering clear of the numerous amount of cliques among Constance's girls.

Obviously Mrs. Braff hadn't heard the latest, or she wouldn't have been proud of Jenny at all.

The young blonde sighed once her heels knocked against the cobblestone of the courtyard, merely because she was now realizing just how empty the school was. She hadn't seen it looking like this since her fight with Blair the day prior, so to do so in the middle of the afternoon was just plain creepy. With her shoulders drooped and her eyes flashing dissapointment, she began slowly making her way past the series of tables and benches outside, toward the gate.

Then she noticed her geomotry and biology textbooks laying atop one of the tables and curiously walked over to them, scooping them into her arms. That's when she saw the small scrap of paper that had been placed underneath the textbooks to keep it weighed down and to prevent it from being ravaged by the forceful January wind. She unfolded it and her crystal blue eyes swept over the page.

Hey bitch, we waited for you for like ten minutes and you never showed, so we decided to go to Bendel's without you. There's a sale there and B says she'll treat - I know, I know, that seems pretty low of us to go shopping with HER of all people, but she seems to be a little diff. now, so we'll see. We agreed to let Elise come along with us, given she keeps her mouth shut most of the time and carries all our bags. Anyway, TTYL. Tomorrow, hopefully! xoxo - Penny

Jenny groaned and crumpled the slip of paper up, tossing it aside absentmindedly and looking up at the cloudy sky above her. Why were things in her life going so terribly wrong all of a sudden? It's like her knotch in the social chain was slowly making its way back down to its original spot, which was located somewhere near the very bottom.

She shoved both heavy textbooks into her bag and hitched it up on her shoulder, stomping out of the courtyard and away from the dreadful school. She was fed up with the terrible memories and imaginary scenarios it brought her. What if Blair really was stealing all her friends back, two by two? And what if Jenny was bound to stay at the bottom of the social chain forever, a whole two knotches below Dan?

She swallowed with regret and shook her head furiously, as if trying to make the harmful thoughts go away forever. And then she hailed a cab, which immediately took her as close as the driver would go to Brooklyn, as she requested.

Then she walked the rest of the way home.

Once she got there, she slammed the door shut behind her, rushed dramatically to her room, and then slammed that door as well. When she came back out a few minutes later, she was wearing her Hello Kitty pajamas and a pair of bright yellow slippers. This was her 'in-front-of-the-father' look that seemed to say I've been a very good girl, so you should let me borrow your Discover card now.

And it worked almost every time.

She traipsed over to the living room couch, threw herself on it with force, and then picked up one of the home-made throw pillows that lay there, placing it over her face and screaming into it as loudly as possible. Her father was right in the kitchen cooking dinner, so he could no doubt hear her. . . And apparently so had Dan and Vanessa.

Jenny's older brother stepped out of his room and glanced at her collapsed figure warily. Then Vanessa yanked the bathroom door open wearing just a white towel and threw a bar of soap at the pillow Jenny had on her head. "Keep it down, will you? I'm on the phone!"

Jenny bolted upright at the sound of Vanessa's voice. "What's she doing here?" she asked her brother, who was now sitting beside her on the couch. When she tried to look at him directly to lock eyes and make sure he was paying attention, however, she saw that he was staring at Rufus in the kitchen, a suspicious sheen in his eyes.

Something was definitely going on here that she knew nothing about. . . And for once, she didn't want to. Her life with her real friends back at school was far more vital than all the family drama she'd no doubt face if she asked Dan what was wrong, so she decided to keep her mouth shut on the matter.

She snatched the television remote up and flicked it on. Since it was Fashion Week, that was of course the only thing she was remotely interested in watching. Onscreen, a fierce brunette model was walking the runway in a delicious black-and-red gown, giving the camera a flirtatious kiss before turning on her heels and walking back the other way.

Then Jenny heard the phone beep as Vanessa set it back on its base, entering the living room. Now she was wearing clothes, thank God. A pair of tattered blue jeans hugged her hips accompied by a long-sleeved Medic Droid shirt she'd bought online. "Hey, V," Jenny greeted the girl, trying to hide the fact that all she really wanted to do right now was scream at the top of her lungs due to Blair and Elise and all of her other annoyingly backstabbing 'frenemies.' "What are you doing here?"

Vanessa sat on the couch between the two siblings and then grabbed the remote from out of Jenny's hands. "Since when do you watch Bailey Winter's Fashion Week?" She eyed Jenny with something resembling suspicion and then changed the channel. Sesame Street came on. "Now there. That's something more age-appropriate for you, J," Vanessa said with a satisfied little titter.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up." Then she stole the remote back and put the channel on Fashion Week once more.

"Oh and since you insist on knowing," continued Vanessa: "Ruby and I got into this huge fight at home, so I came here for a couple hours to cool off. She can be a drama queen sometimes."

"Hey Jenny, where were you after school?" Rufus bellowed from the kitchen. "I tried calling your cell but it wouldn't go through; I wanted to see if you were up to going to the Flea Market with me."

Jenny scoffed and rolled her eyes but Dan scolded her with a sharp tap on the knee, flashing her a 'be nice' glance. "My phone was turned off and I was staying after school with my art teacher. She wants me to do the hymnals for Constance."

Rufus stepped into the living room, holding a black spatula as something sizzled in the kitchen. "That's where you were? So. . . You weren't at Bloomingdale's with those horrid gossips you call your friends?"

Jenny sneered. "First of all, no, I wasn't. Second of all, they are my friends. . . And since when do you not trust me anymore?!"

"I do trust you, but you're hardly ever home anymore. I don't really know what to think. You stay out after hours, you barely speak a word to me all day, and you've been acting different." He crossed his arms. "I do have the right to ask you one simple question, you know. I am your father."

Dan shook his head from the sidelines. "Right. And you're such a saint," he commiserated, clenching his fists. He couldn't help being a little upset at his father for going after Lily behind his children's backs. The least he could have done was tell Dan the truth so that when he found out he didn't feel like putting his fist through a wall.

Jenny stood up from the couch and threw the remote aside. "Shut up, Dan. This isn't your fight." She shoved past all three of them and stormed into the kitchen, just wanting something to do that would distract her from all the fighting. "And dad, if you hate me so much then why don't I just move out! Sound good?!" She slammed the refrigerator door and bit furiously into an apple.

"I never said I hated you, Jenny. You're my daughter."

"Oh please! You're pretending like you actually care about where I am or who I'm with, when all you're really doing is fishing for a reason to ground me. . . I was at the school!! Give them a call if you don't believe me!!" Jenny slammed the apple into the trashcan nearby with just two bites in it, and when she stepped back into the living room she saw that Dan had already left - presumably to brood alone in his room - and Rufus was storming out as well.

Jenny's dad slammed the door and suddenly the house fell very quiet.

Only Vanessa still sat on the couch.

Jenny swallowed hard and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Sorry you had to hear that. They can be pretty freaking stupid sometimes." She chuckled nervously and suddenly wished she still had the apple to bite into. Vanessa was gazing at her with judgemental eyes and she seemed to be ignoring everything Jenny was saying.

"Can I ask you a question, J?" Vanessa turned the television set off and stood up, walking a little closer to her. Jenny simply nodded, getting the feeling she wouldn't like what was about to leave her friend's mouth.

"Do you honestly like the person you've become?"

The question was asked rhetorically, which is why it made sense for her words to be met with only silence, but by the sad, devasted, and contemplative look on Jenny's face, Vanessa knew she'd gotten through to her. So she turned on her heels and walked towards the front door, pulling the knob and leaning against it for a second, taking one last, long look at Jenny. "I should probably get back home. Ruby will be waiting."


Hmm. Why so quiet, Little J? You may have wrecked your relationship with your family - for now - but if there's one thing I've learned in this business, it's NEVER too late to apologize.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYFOUR.

Blair'd caught a nasty cold from staying outdoors in the Park all night with just a short dress and Chuck Bass to keep her warm, but she still didn't regret the spontaneous behavior she'd portrayed last night. . . She'd never really been one for spotaneity, but it seemed like whenever she was around Chuck she became a slightly different person: more dangerous and risky and wild and fun. And in all honesty, she liked the person she became around him, which is why a slight cough and a few sneezes here and there would be tolerable for the young brunette.

She was, however, wearing an extra layer of clothing to keep precautions from catching any more illnesses. If one stayed home sick on the Upper East Side for even one day, he or she could miss a ton of important events. . . Like Jenny and Nate's embarassingly public break up, perhaps? Yes, she'd caught sight of it - along with half of the rest of the student body - as she was perched atop one of the tables of the benches outside in the courtyard.

And could life get any better? She'd practically won back her throne, she was coming dangerously close to winning Chuck back as well, and now her rival was suffering the pain of heartbreak in front of her amused and awestruck classmates. . . All while the young brunette basked in newfound glory.

Then Blair caught sight of Serena as the blonde plopped her bag onto a nearby table and took a seat there. She was waiting for Dan, no doubt, since that was their morning tradition, but it wouldn't hurt if Blair were to approach Serena for a few minutes. . . Would it?

She hopped off the circular table and began anxiously making her way over to her best friend, who just so happened to be wearing an adorable yellow trench and brand new Sigerson Morrison flats. She looked as gorgeous as ever.

Serena spotted Blair as the girl came towards her and she shifted in her seat uncomfortably, not knowing whether to run and hide or smile at the girl warmly.

"Hey, Serena," said Blair cautiously, her voice small as she offered a small wave at the blonde.

Serena waved back. "Hey, B."

Blair could already feel people beginning to stare, and for once in her life she wished they would all just mind their own business and stop idolizing/criticizing her in that obsessive way the school's students were so famous for. Serena sat and Blair stood in silence, both girls glancing into eachother's eyes every few seconds only to glance back at the crowded courtyard again.

"I um. . . I spent the night with Chuck," Blair admitted, hoping that if she just started talking to Serena like they were besties the blonde would suddenly act like they were besties, all over again.

Serena looked slightly surprised, but at least now she wasn't afraid to look Blair in the eye. "Oh, you did? I'm. . . happy for you?" She still didn't know which relationship she should have been rooting for, Nate and Blair or Blair and Chuck, but by the smile her friend was so obviously trying to hide, she was clearly content with her current 'Chuck situation.'

Blair took note of Serena's silence and rolled her eyes slightly. Then she hopped onto the table in front of the blonde and crossed her red-stockinged legs. "I know you think he was just the rebound guy and a big regret and everything, S, but it really isn't like that," she insisted.

Serena looked at Blair with obvious unbelief on her face.

"Well I mean it was, but not anymore," Blair went on. "I thought it would just be that one time and then we'd both forget about it and continue on our way, him being a date rapist and me being the poster child for my family or whatever, but ever since Nate dumped me I realized I don't need him in my life." Another look of unbelief washed over Serena's face. "I mean I know I said that before, but now I mean it. Nate's just a cheater, Serena."

The blonde chuckled. "And what's Chuck - the prime minister?"

Blair giggled too, and then she shoved Serena's shoulder in that playful 'I-can-do-this-again-because-I'm-your-best-friend' sort of way. "I love you, S," Blair finally said, her voice so soft Serena could barely hear her.

"I love you too, B."

And then they leaned in for a tight, comforting hug, both girls realizing once and for all that neither of them needed to apologize this time around.


Spotted: S and B enduring a much-needed rendezvous in the courtyard before school. Wonder how long it'll last THIS time. . . And while they're kissing and making up, one must also wonder just how V will retaliate to J's crude little facade. . . Well, you'll know when I know.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYTHREE.

The vibrant yellow headband Jenny had acquired from Blair several weeks ago looked magnificent on her, even if she did say so herself. The bright hue of the fashion accessory accentuated her blonde hair with strawberry highlights no one had even noticed until now.

The rest of Jenny's outfit consisted of the rather uncomfortable skirt Constance required of all its girls and the matching jacket that had been fashioned to make all of the school's female students look more academic. Dark green stockings enveloped her long legs which provided the perfect innocent-little-slut touch to her outfit.

The young blonde tucked a strand of hair behind an ear and flounced up the front steps of her school, Penny and Hazel trailing behind her. The two followers hadn't been present at Eleanor's benefit party last night because of a razor mishap where they'd accidentally shaved off eachother's eyebrows. Now they both looked a lot tackier (not to mention uglier) with noticably penciled-in eyebrows. Jenny hadn't said anything no matter how gross they looked, though, for fear that Blair would step in at any time and steal more of her supposedly-loyal friends.

Then Jenny spotted Nate and a broad grin swept across her facial features. He was already making his way over to St. Jude's - rather hastily at that, for some reason - but she lunged toward him firmly, spinning him around and planting a big kiss on his lips. When it was done she smiled and examined his light blue eyes, trying to read them. . . But for some reason he didn't look nearly as excited as she was.

"Hey, Nate. What's wrong?"

Her eyes were slightly bluer than his were; they were much more captivating and complex and beautiful. . . Yet he couldn't bring himself to look at them.

He glanced around, desperately searching for something to look at while dozens of his fellow students were probably snapping pictures of he and Jenny as they stood there, embraced in eachother's arms. Boys were no doubt running their mouths about the fresh-hot couple while girls spread more outlandish tales. Nate's eyes finally landed on Penny and Hazel who stood just a few feet away, typing furiously on their Sidekicks and glancing up at him every few seconds. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but something about them seemed different. They looked slightly off.

Then Jenny tugged on his coat, snapping him back to reality.

He sighed and ran a hand through his golden brown hair. What he had to say next definitely wouldn't be easy for either of them. "Look, Jenny. . . What we did yesterday. . . I don't think it can happen again. As much as I hate to say this, what Blair said was sort of right. It was wrong. And I honestly don't feel like I'm ready to just thrust myself back into a new relationship yet."

He opened his mouth to say more, but then realized that's all he could come up with as a 'it's-not-your-fault-it's-mine' break up. What he really wanted to say was he was so high when he'd slept with Jenny that he couldn't think of anything at the time other than more weed or sex. . . And since she'd sort of thrown herself at him in his family's yard, he'd picked the latter. Besides, she was three years younger than him, slightly immature, and seemed just like a Blair-waiting-to-happen.

And that's definitely not what he wanted.

He examined her crystal blue eyes only to see that there was tears in them. Nate's face turned red hot and when he looked around he realized people were now officially staring, some were giggling while others' jaws were dropped. "Fuck you, Nate Archibald," Jenny finally hissed, whirling around and stomping through the doors of Constance Billard. Penny and Hazel were quick to follow her and as soon as they got inside they began stroking Jenny's back consolingly.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," said Penny, a hint of satisfaction detectable in her tone of voice. She'd been in love with Nate since the first grade and was pining for the Queen role at Constance since before she could remember, so to see Jenny so distraught and heartbroken did make her feel a little better, as horrible as that might have seemed.

"He's such an ass," added Hazel. She wasn't nearly as excited as Penny was about Jenny's break up, but she couldn't honestly say she felt bad for the blonde either. After all, they'd been trailing Blair ever since freshman year and then suddenly Jenny had swooped in and stolen Constance's throne without lifting a finger. . . It had been a bit infuriating.

Vanessa strolled by wearing a pair of skinny black jeans and a black AC/DC tank. She took note of Jenny's rejected look and walked over to the trio, her eyebrows furrowed with sympathy. "Hey Jenny. What's wrong?"

Jenny swallowed hard and hitched the strap of her bag over one shoulder. When she finally pried her eyes away from Constance's unsettling carpet and focused on Vanessa, fresh tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Um hi, Vanessa." She'd made an attempt to sound stronger than she felt, but that attempt failed miserably. "Listen, I don't really have time for this right now but meet me on the steps after school. We'll walk home together." The red-lipsticked corners of her mouth turned up in a small, hopeful smile, and then she noticed Elise Wells walking by, a pile of books in the young brunette's arms.

Jenny sighed dramatically and plopped her Geometry and Biology textbooks onto the already-tall pile of books Elise was carrying. "Hold these for me, will you? I don't have time to put them in my locker, I need to touch up my make up." She turned to leave but Elise followed her.

"Jenny, what's wrong?" asked the girl. But she recieved only a scoff in return. Jenny ran a hand through her blonde hair and tossed her Burberry coat onto the pile of books Elise strained to hold. Then she walked toward the restrooms slowly, Penny and Hazel sneering at Elise right before following Jenny, hot on the blonde's heels.

All the while Vanessa stood nearby, watching Dan's little sister as she controlled everyone around her. She crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side a bit as she examined the new Jenny Humphrey. An amused and slightly worried look was portrayed across her features and she couldn't help recognizing Blair Waldorf in Jenny's new persona.

Oh great, just what the world needs: another BLAIR, thought Vanessa, feeling a little sick all of a sudden.


Spotted: N calling it off with little J and V witnessing the girl being led astray. . . Guess she shouldn't have helped Little J sneak into the Masquerade Ball after all.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYTWO.

Blair walked with a new bounce in her step as she left her mother's penthouse halfway through the party. She thought it would seem so much more mysterious and wistful of her to just disappear halfway through the benefit, leaving Kati and Isabel and Jenny wondering where on earth she'd gone off to. . . And besides, that's what Eleanor Waldorf got for trying to embarass her daughter so terribly in front of a room full of close friends.

Blair tossed her wavy brown hair over her shoulder and pushed through the beautifully-crafted front gate of their building, her sleek red pair of Marc Jacobs clonking against the pavement rather loudly in the dead of night. Most people were indoors hiding from the slight drizzle that hailed from the sky while others were probably busy having sex with their lovers to burn off extra calories, holed up in internet cafes sipping warm cups of coffee, or attending Eleanor's boring little soiree.

The young brunette had far more important things to do however, like revel over her newfound victory over Jenny Humphrey yet again by strolling through the city and gasping its fresh air. Later on she'd stop by the Three Guys Cafe and reward herself with an all-natural bagel and tall latte, but for now she decided to walk through Central Park since it was on her way. She turned the corner to the gate off Fifth Avenue and her heels stopped making hollow clicks against the pavement, because she was now walking along the soft path of the Park, a thick January gust blowing through the area.

A woman who looked about fourty was walking through the park as well. Normally Blair would be a bit terrified, since it was almost two in the morning and seemed more than a little creepy to be strolling through Central Park in pitch blackness, but when she noticed the innocent little poodle the woman was walking, a wave of relief washed over her. The poodle was wearing a tiny red sweater with a matching miniature scarf, telling Blair immediately that the old woman certainly wasn't some psycho killer out for fresh seventeen-year-old blood.

Blair rolled her eyes as the dog stopped to pee and she decided to stray off the dedicated path of the park. She climbed up one of its small grassy hills instead - which turned out to be more difficult than she'd anticipated, given that she hadn't factored her Marc Jacobs into the equation at first. She ran a hand through her hair and then slowly walked through the trimmed grass until she stood at the center of the hill.

The view was breathtaking.

Sure, the city lights of Manhattan were as gorgeous as ever, but that was more of an attraction for the tourists - Blair Waldorf was certainly no tourist and was far more interested in the clear night sky with its starry twinkles streaked throughout. She tipped her head back to get a closer look but then she heard nearby footsteps coming towards her. . . And damn, she'd forgotten her mase in her Gucci bag. This was her Louis Vuitton, which contained just her AmEx, lip gloss, and eye shadow.

She turned to see who it was and to her surprise, Chuck popped into view. She had to squint a bit to make him out in the darkness of the night, but his twinkling eyes and rustled dark hair and defined chin were all dead giveaways - Chuck Bass indeed. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was hoarse and defeated, despite the fact she'd just emerged victorious from her party.

He looked her up and down quickly, as if hoping she wouldn't notice him doing so. "I was just about to ask you the same thing."

"Well if you must know, I just came from my mom's lame benefit party. You're girlfriend Georgie Slut was there. And I'm afraid to report she may be cheating on you."

Chuck scoffed. "Georgie's the biggest whore in town. Everyone knows that. The only thing shorter than the list of men in Manhattan she hasn't done it with is the amount of time each of her relationships last."

Blair cracked a glossy smile, but immediately regretted it. She wasn't supposed to be smiling in Chuck's arrogant presence, she was supposed to be screaming at him until her face turned blue for hurting her so badly and almost making her run away. . . and then making it like she'd been the one in the wrong. "Well each one does seem to last shorter than the last," she admitted lamely.

Chuck nodded and then knelt down towards the grass, sitting down at first and then laying back so that his head was resting on the Park's damp greenery. The view of the sky was absolutely flawless from where he lay. . . And the fact that Blair was standing in his view even the slightest bit just made the scenery all the prettier.

Blair stared down at him as if he were crazy to be laying on the damp grass of Central Park - probably in the same spot where a freshman couple from Riverside Prep lost their virginites or something - but he looked so goddamn adorable and mysterious and irresistable that Blair couldn't help sitting beside him. She winced slightly when she felt the bottom part of her shirtdress coming into constact with the grass and she decided to simply sit next to him rather than lay - no way was she ruining her hair as well.

Blair propped herself up on her arms and looked down at Chuck. "So what are you doing here, seriously? Buying a cheap dime bag from some random dealer or just waiting in the bushes for a vulnerable fourteen-year-old to walk by so you can take advantage of her?"

She'd meant it more as a joke, but the tone of voice she'd used had made her sound more mean than she'd meant to sound. Chuck just flashed her a wary glance and then went back to looking at the starry sky. . . "I'm here for the same reason you are," he finally replied.

Blair rolled her eyes. "And what reason would that be?"

"To clear my thoughts." He wasn't looking at her anymore; rather, his dark brown eyes were focused on the clear sky above them. For some reason this made Blair feel like she wanted his love and attention even more, so she reluctantly brought herself to laying position on the grass, feeling the prickly greenery rub against her outfit. The view was prettier, though, from this angle.

They lay there in silence for several minutes, unblinking as if hypnotized by the view. Neither of them said so, but their bodies were humming with ecstacy from being so close and since Chuck was wearing only a crisp, long-sleeved shirt and a sweater vest and Blair was clad in just a thigh-high shirtdress, they were only kept warm by eachother's body heat.

Blair parted her thoroughly-glossed lips but held back from speaking. She was still reeling from their last conversation in the courtyard and she didn't want to say anything that would drive their relationship further into the ruins. Finally, she brought herself to speak: "For the record, Chuck. . . I am sorry." Neither of them looked at eachother as a shooting star streaked across the dark sky.

"Me, too."

And they stayed there for the rest of the night, neither of them saying anything more as they drifted off into a comforting slumber.


As if a scene out of a movie, B and C's almost-reunion turned out to be almost magical. An obviously starry sky, an irresistably gorgeous charmer, and the perplexing comfort that comes from knowing they really had only eachother. . . What more could a girl want?

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTYONE.

Serena tossed Dan's coat aside - onto the floor - without looking. He fell backwards onto the couch, their lips still locked together relentlessly. Neither of them could breathe anymore, but they both wanted to continue kissing anyway. Serena climbed on top of his lap, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders and chest, covering her eyes as she began unbuttoning the crisp white shirt he'd been wearing. "I love you, Dan Humphrey," she breathed, breaking the kiss for a moment.

He dove into her navy blue eyes with his own dark brown ones. "I love you, too."

Then they continued on in their little kiss fest, hands and arms and lips roaming everywhere. The only sounds in the entire van der Woodsen suite were of them breathing heavily as they made out. We should break up more often, Dan thought as he nibbled on Serena's lower lip and yanked her cashmere sweater off. Serena finally got the last button on his shirt unbuttoned and then she threw it off as if she absolutely couldn't wait to get under there.

"Wow. Have you been working out?" She joked, giggling wildly as she stroked his abs. A look of offense fell over Dan's features as he recognized the playful tone in her voice.

"Are you making fun of me? Huh? Are you?" He began tickling her sides and she started laughing even more hysterically, her blonde hair flying around and her legs kicking madly. Dan laughed too, but soon a distinct voice could be heard from outside, in the halls, ceasing his moment of ecstacy. Someone on the other side of the door was definitely talking.

He gently nudged Serena aside and stood up with haste, pulling his shirt and coat back on. Serena flashed him a curious look. "What; what is it--?" Dan lunged forward to cover her mouth and then jutted his pointer finger in the direction of the door. Once silence befell the room, Serena could hear her mother talking to someone right outside. Her eyes bulged and she too pushed herself off the couch, throwing her clothes back on.

They couldn't very well leave the suite without being noticed by Serena's mother and Mystery Man as they fled the scene, so they scurried over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut instead, locking it behind them just as the front door swung open. The coat rack rattled a bit from outside their new hiding spot and Serena heard two distinct sets of footsteps entering the suite. Someone dropped their bag onto the couch.

"It just baffles me how Serena could give up so easily on her relationship with Dan," said Lily, her voice clearly distraught as she confided in either Bart or Rufus in the living room.

"Hey Lil, you've got to remember to cut her some slack." The voice lacked the sinister and cold-heartedness that Serena might have heard in Bart Bass' voice, so it must have been Rufus. By the surprised look on Dan's face it was. "After all, I recall a time when you gave up the man you loved without putting up much of a fight, too." Serena pressed her ear against the door and heard her mother sigh heavily as something shifted on the leather couch.

"I know," Lily replied. Then Serena and Dan could hear the sound of a quick kiss on the other side of the door. Serena could picture them laying on the couch together, Lily's head resting on Rufus' chest and his lips in her blonde hair, planting gentle kisses on the top of her head every once and a while. They were probably holding hands as well.

"But I just wish she could understand that things aren't always black and white. That there's some gray in every situation and if she wants things to work out with Dan she'll need to fight a little harder. . . Sometimes I think she needs to feel like everything in her life is perfect, otherwise it'll seem totally wrong. It's been that way ever since she returned from boarding school. I think she still feels incredibly guilty for all the wrongs she's committed in the past. . . So guilty that she's trying her upmost to be flawless and pure for everyone else to atone for her previous sins."

Lily sighed again.

In the bathroom, Serena sat on the tiled floor, hugging her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, avoiding Dan's eyes by now. Whether her mother knew it or not, she was embarassing Serena terribly. And now the youngest blonde just wished her mother would shut up. Still, though, she had to admit that what the eldest van der Woodsen was saying was true. . . And somehow this realization made Serena feel even more guilty for all she'd done.

Sleeping with Nate. Betraying her best friend. Ignoring everyone below her on the social ladder. Treating her loyal followers like crap. Abandoning Blair in her time of need. Coming back to the city only to cause even more ruckus. And then breaking up with Dan. . . Glassy tears welled up in her navy blue eyes and she ducked her head into the hole between her chest and her knees, sniffling softly. Somehow - between her life at boarding school and her return to the city - life had gotten unbelievably complicated and now she wished some miracle would just come along and uncomplicate things. . .

Dan crawled across the tiled floor and wrapped his arms around Serena, resting his head on hers and locking their fingers together. He knew when she needed cheering up and the only surefire way to get her to do so would be for him to mirror the actions of his father right outside, who was no doubt tenderly stroking Lily's hands or kissing her reassuringly on the cheek.

And even though Lily felt distraught and Rufus felt exhausted and Serena felt embarassed and Dan felt a little relieved now that he was reuinted with Serena, not once did the teenage couple feel awkward in the bathroom as their parents behaved like lovestruck children in the room just beside them. Which was definitely a step forward. . .

Except for when Rufus and Lily started going at it right on the living room couch several minutes later. That's when Dan and Serena had to cover their ears and shut their eyes until they fell asleep on the cold, tiled floor, pretending not to notice what was going on right outside the door.


Luckily none of the adults felt the need to pee while they were there!

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter THIRTY.

"Okay, um. . . I never stalked someone I liked and then resorted to taking revealing photographs of them while they weren't looking," said Leo, flashing an accusing glance at Jenny and waiting for her to take a sip of the martini she was holding. He still wasn't aware that it was in fact Blair who'd taken those photos of him as ammunition for ruining Jenny's reputation. Ergo, he still looked at Jenny as if she were some creepily obsessed, fourteen-year-old stalker who needed therapy.

And of course Blair wouldn't have it any other way.

Jenny knew the statement had been directed at her, but since she wasn't the one who'd taken those photos of him she flashed an accusing sneer at Blair in return. The brunette just smiled cluelessly and shrugged her shoulders. No way was she telling Leo the truth.

Ever since Georgie had joined the party, the guys in the room couldn't stop gawking at the two-inch-long cleavage that jutted out of her strapless dress and Kati and Isabel couldn't stop whispering about what a slut the girl was. Everyone was now huddled together on the carpet in a tight circle, their legs crossed and a martini glass set before each one of them.

They were playing a risky game of I Never, a daring little past-time where everyone sat around in a circle and each took turns saying something with 'I Never' in the beginning, such as 'I Never had sex with my best friend's mom.' And then whoever did the mentioned deed had to take a drink from their glass. Whoever emptied their glass first was automatically dubbed the most naughty and disqualified from the game until one person was left standing.

Georgie took a hit from the joint she'd lit several minutes ago and then took a sip from her glass just for the hell of it. Then she looked at Blair, who was sitting beside Leo in the circle. "Your turn, B."

Blair gritted her teeth, trying her best not to fly her martini glass across the circle, at Georgie's flawless face. It was like the whole world had started calling her B as an inside joke or something and was doing whatever they could to drive her insane. She was considering changing her name just for that brief moment, simply because she was growing tired of random people all over the place calling her 'B', the nickname Serena had made up for her in the first place.

"Okay." Blair locked eyes with Georgie and squared her shoulders. Obviously the other brunette had no idea just how much Blair despised her, so the youngest Waldorf sought to correct that: "I never came back from God-knows-where and foolishly expected everything to be just like it was."

Georgie looked confused for a moment but then she shrugged and tipped her head back slightly, taking another sip from her martini glass. "I guess that one was directed at me, right B?" She set the glass back down. Not surprisingly, hers had less liquid in it than everyone else's.

Way to go, Captain Obvious, Blair felt like saying in return.

It was Nate's turn next. He shifted uncomfortably from where he sat. "Uhh, I've never done it in the back seat of a car?" As soon as he'd uttered those words, he wished he hadn't. It must have sounded like he was trying to get Blair all riled up again, since the first time she'd had sex was in the back seat of a car. . . But all he'd really been trying to do was come up with an 'I Never statement' that didn't cause any more conflict between the people in the room.

Oops. Too late.

To Blair's relief, more than half the people in the circle took a big swig of their dirty martinis, making her feel less alone as she did the same. As she tipped her head back and took one step closer to emptying her glass, she flashed Nate a hateful glance. If it weren't for the judgemental eyes of the rest of her peers, she'd kick him in the shin. . . But for now a hateful glance would do.

Now it was Jenny's turn and by the mischevious glint in her eye, the group knew she'd already thought about her I Never statement heavily. "I've never slept with two guys in one week." Her eyes never left Blair's as she spoke and now everyone else was feeling the tension falling upon them yet again. Blair swallowed hard and took a sip of her drink. So did Georgie, Kati, and Isabel.

Kati was next in the circle and she glanced at Isabel from the side of her eye. "I've never had sex with one of the workers at the Three Guys Cafe right on the counter." Everyone in the circle but Kati and Isabel raised an eyebrow awkwardly as the two girls giggled knowingly and clinked glasses with eachother. Their martinis were almost gone as well, but both Kati and Isabel had the exact same amount of liquid in their glasses. Which wasn't so surprising, since they did absolutely everything together.

There were a few more people to go before it got back to Blair and by the time it did there was mostly just drops left in everyone's glasses. Jenny's glass was the fullest since she was new to this world, but even so she'd still managed to gulp it down so that there was less than half the amount of alcohol than there had been when the game first started.

Blair knew what she needed to say to get the little amount of martini that was left in Georgie's glass down to nothing. "I've never tried to seduce someone in a steam room by getting naked in front of them and then trying to pull their towel off while they were sleeping like the slut I am." She raised her glass as if she were making a toast and a few people in the circle grinned. Ouch. They all knew about Georgie's attempted tryst with Chuck the day prior, so no one needed to be clued in on who Blair was talking about.

Georgie nibbled on her lower lip and shifted uncomfortably on the carpet. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the room boring into her and this was the first time in her life Blair had ever seen the biggest whore in town - a.k.a. Georgie Spark - blush. She took one final sip of her drink, finishing it off, and then stood up, smoothing out her white dress. She actually looked like she was about to cry. . . And needless to say, it looked like Blair was about to laugh.

"This was fun," said Georgie, running a hand through her long dark hair and turning towards the door. Her voice cracked. "We should really do it again some time." She needed to get out of there pronto, because not once in her life had she ever allowed someone to see her cry - let alone an entire room rull of drunken gossips that would no doubt laugh in her face.

Blair extended an arm upward and waved enthusiastically as Georgie shut the door behind her. "Bye-bye!" she called with a zealous grin on her face. Kati and Isabel snickered in unison while Nate flashed Blair a scolding glance, as if he wanted to yell at her for being so mean.

"That was awesome, Blair!" Kati praised the brunette, finishing off her martini.

Isabel nodded in agreement. "Totally. You showed her."

Blair's dark brown eyes slid over to her former followers, Kati Farkas and Isabel Coates, a faint look of surprise plastered over her features. Was she finally getting her throne back? She flashed them a little smile and finished off her drink as well, tossing her wavy brown locks over one shoulder just for dramatic effect. "Thanks you guys." In the movie that was her life, this was the moment where she began her quick ascent back to the top of the social ladder, somehow snagging a boyfriend and a best friend along the way. . . And soon would come her happily ever after.

"And by the way, we thought it was totally lame what you're mom said about your shoes," Kati went on. The way she'd said 'we' - referring to both her and Isabel - proved to the group once and for all that they indeed shared one narrow-sighted mind. "I thought those were really cute."

The grin on Blair's face shifted - quite unnoticably, to the rest of the group - into that successful, controlling smile she was once so famous for back when she ruled Constance. "You think?" She glanced back at the strappy pair of abandoned heels she'd tossed into the corner earlier. "You can have them if you want. I've got another pair in black anyway." She raised a dismissive hand into the air as if to say Take them away before I change my mind and Kati rushed over to the corner of the room, kicking off her shoes excitedly and trading them for the ones Blair'd been wearing.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?" asked Isabel, slightly jealous that Kati had been able to snag Blair's shoes simply because she'd commented on them first. "Because Kati and I were thinking about making appointments at Arden's during fourth period. We have photography that time anyway, so it should be pretty easy to ditch."

A triumphant sheen twinkled in Blair's dark brown eyes, one which only an envious Jenny noticed from across the circle. The young blonde could barely contain herself as Kati and Isabel stumbled over eachother to please Blair yet again. "That sounds perfect," Blair told Isabel, meeting Jenny's crystal blue eyes for just a brief moment to insinuate: The battle's over. I won.


And indeed she did. Little J should have known better than to get caught up in this messy little game of cat and mouse. We Upper East Siders know how to deal with this sort of drama so well because we were BORN here. . . But no matter how much you dress up a dog in cute designer sweaters, it will still be a DOG. You can take that one to your grave, Little J.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter TWENTYNINE.

Serena groaned softly and sat up in the couch, her eyes shut in an attempt to resist what little light that remained in the room and her head throbbing forcefully. When she finally braved the pain and allowed her eyes to flutter open, she realized she was in Chuck's room. On his couch. Laying beside him. . . Her eyes bulged, but to her relief she still had all her clothes on. She didn't even remember coming here but from the display on Chuck's countertop, it was obvious they'd been drinking.

A half-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo, a metallic flask, a bottle of Vodka, and several crystal tumblers provided all the proof she needed to realize she'd probably made a huge, embarassing mistake in coming here. And she needed to get home and find her mother and confess just how scared and lonely and reluctant she felt about her life as a whole.

She threw the blanket off her and hopped away from the leather couch but to her surprise Chuck remained asleep throughout the entire thing, his eyes still shut and soft snores coming from his half-open mouth. She smiled as she surveyed his sleeping figure for a moment, but when her eyes caught a glimpse of the clock on the nearby end table she rushed over to the front door and stuffed her feet into the pair of shoes she'd been wearing. Then she yanked his door open and stepped outside, sauntering towards the elevator and pressing Down at least ten times.

What was I thinking in coming here? she scolded herself as she glanced at her reflection in the silvery doors of the elevator, running a hand through her blonde hair and fixing the collar of the sweater she was wearing. Oh wait - I wasn't.

Finally the elevator swung open and Serena trampled over to the revolving doors, pushing past them and hailing a cab as soon as her high heels hit the pavement. That's when she realized how painfully cold it was outdoors on the Upper East Side, especially at midnight and in January. In her drunken stupor while coming here, she must have overlooked the part where she brought along a coat that was thick enough to keep her warm.

Luckily a taxi screeched to a halt just in front of her and Serena dove into the backseat, slamming the door shut behind her. Why couldn't it have been May? May was so much warmer.

"The Palace, please," she instructed the cab driver. He glanced at her through his rearview mirror and noticed she was hugging herself, shivering slightly.

"You need me to join you back there?" he asked her gruffly. Serena met his gaze in the mirror and noticed the mischevious grin plastered over his face. "I'll keep you warm."

Serena felt like she needed to throw up even more than she had when she'd first woken up to a hangover in the Bass home. "No thanks. You know what, though? What you can do is pull over. I'll walk."

He frowned tauntingly as if to say you're-no-fun and Serena just glared back at him with disgust. She didn't feel like getting hit on by some skeezy cab driver on her way home from a drinking binge, thank you very much. So as soon as he pulled to a stop she hopped out of the cab, slammed the door, and went on walking in the general direction of The Palace Hotel, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to protect herself from both the harsh wind and any more desperate perverts who wanted to 'keep her warm.'



By the time she got to the van der Woodsen suite she couldn't feel her hands, her nose, or her ears, and her hair was damp from the gentle downpour that had occured on her way back home. She took the elevator up to her floor and as she walked across the carpeted hall towards her door, keys in hand, she noticed someone sitting down outside her home, his back against the wall and his head hung low. Something was in his hand.

Oh, great. Another perve?

Serena got closer to the door - already prepared to jam the sharpest key she had into the stranger's eye - but as she did so, she realized she recognized the 'stranger' sitting before her. It was none other than Dan Humphrey.

Already, she felt like crying.

Hopefully he hadn't come to yell at her about their break up, because she really didn't feel like she could handle any more of that. Being lectured by Dan and then her mom had been punishment enough. Plus, she'd already been scolding herself for the wrongs she'd committed ever since yesterday: first suggesting her mother break up with Rufus and then breaking up with Dan herself. She'd been feeling miserable ever since, and the painful headache due to the over-intake of alcohol didn't help her much, either.

"Hey." He slowly brought his head up to lock eyes with her.

"Hey." She offered a weak smile and fumbled with her keys.

They stood there in silence for a while, as if both of them were waiting for eachother to say something. To say they regretted their actions and loved eachother too deeply to break up over something so petty and really wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. . . But for whatever reason, neither of them said so. They just continued to stand there, gazing into eachother's eyes so deeply they thought they might drown in eachother's pupils.

Then Serena sighed and forced herself to snap out of it, extending her arm to unlock the door to the van der Woodsen suite. Just as she heard the soft 'click' and was about to step inside, Dan stood up and touched her arm, tenderly restricting her from doing so. "Wait, Serena. . . Just wait."

Serena's navy blue eyes drooped to the carpet. "What do you want, Dan?" She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and then looked up at him once more. His face still seemed a little blurry from all the alcohol, but the long walk through the city's fresh air had cured her of most of her drunkeness. Now her vision was just slightly impaired and she had a throbbing headache as a reminder of her rash decisions.

Silence filtered the air once again, but just as she was about to push open the door to her home for the second time he stopped her: "I. . . wanted to give you this." He placed the folded up pieces of paper he'd been holding in her hand and surveyed her reaction. She still looked like she was about to cry.

"Dan, if you're going to tell me about the new girl you're seeing or the poem you've written about how over me you are, then I'd really rather hear it from you rather than read it on a piece of paper."

Dan shook his head. "No, Serena. That's not it at all. . . Look, I know you're scared and you're confused and you're hurt, but when you broke up with me I don't think you really meant it. Even if you think you did--"

"I didn't."

Something resembling relief flashed in his eyes, suddenly making them both feel a bit better about their shitty situations. "You didn't. . . Well good." He tried his best not to smile. "Good. Because I almost just made a fool of myself, so--" He reached out to grab the paper back from her, but Serena stuck it behind her back, making no effort to hide the grin on her lips.

"Why? What does this say?"

Dan chuckled nervously. "Come on. You said you didn't mean it, so it doesn't matter does it?"

Serena giggled. "Well that depends. Is this a love note or a break up letter?" She turned around so that Dan still wouldn't be able to grab the paper from her as she unfolded it. Her eyes swept across the page briefly and she turned back to him. "Wait, what is this? Isn't--?"

"It's the story Vanessa published in The New Yorker. . . The one about you." He seemed a little embarassed, as if he was now realizing that giving her the story to convince her to get back together with him was actually pretty girly of him. It made him seem even more adorable in Serena's eyes, though.

"But you've already shown me this. I don't understand how--"

"You didn't read it yet. You still don't know about the time I spoke to you at that party in Williamsburg or just how long I've been in love with you, Serena." He swallowed hard. "So I was going to give it to you to read and just hope you'd fall in love with me all over again." He laughed lamely and then tried to grab it from her again, but she turned back around.

"Hold on," she demanded gently. Then her eyes swept back over the page and she parted her lips to recite the words he'd written: "'Her name is Serena van der Woodsen and I love her. . . Which might come as quite a shock to her if she were around to hear those words coming from me because. . . Well, she doesn't know who I am. The first and only time I spoke to her was at this party at The Palace Hotel. I wasn't even invited, but when my sister told me about it and told me she'd be there, I knew I had to see for myself. When I got there, everyone was running around the hotel suite half-naked, smoking cigars and sipping champagne. . . Everyone but Serena. I looked around the room for her and finally spotted her sitting on the couch, her head hung low and a half-empty crystal tumbler in her hand. She looked so lonely - which came as a shock to me since she was Serena van der Woodsen - but after having a few sips of champagne myself, I finally got the courage to go up and talk to her. She was nicer than I expected her to be - even though she was probably drunk - and I'm pretty sure she thought I was someone else, but as pathetic as it is to admit, that's the day I finally knew what love felt like. . . Maybe one day Serena will join me in it.'"

Dan was leaning against the wall, absolutely sure that at any moment Serena would burst out laughing and realize just how cheesy and lonely her boyfriend was.

But to his utter surprise, once she was done reading the story and she looked up, she had tears in her eyes. . . And then she threw the story aside and rushed into Dan's arms, kissing him with more passion than she knew she had.

Dan was surprised, of course, but in no time he got into it as well, running a hand through her blonde hair and kissing her back. She pushed him into the door of her home and he reached behind him with his free hand, turning the doorknob, opening the door, and stumbling into the suite backwards.

And not once did they stop kissing.

The modern day fairy tale of the Lonely Boy and the Fallen It Girl. . . Sure the classics are nice, but let's face it: the story about the prince and the princess was getting a bit dull.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter TWENTYEIGHT.

A wave of toasts broke out through the Waldorf Penthouse. Ironically, though, not one of them was dedicated to the actual benefit. Eleanor and all of her society-planning friends had unanimously decided to raise money to help preserve the almost-extinct peregrine falcons who lived in Central Park, but less than half of the wealthy people who were attending the benefit and handing out money had any idea what this was all about. They mostly just wanted a reason to get drunk off Chardonnay and flaunt all their cash, seeing which socialite was better at doing either activity.

Even though there was no clothing deal with Victoria's Secret any longer, Eleanor had managed to snag the models off of the runway for the night and convince them all to attend her party instead. Of course they had come with a rather hefty price considering they were so popular and it was Fashion Week, but between the woman's high-paying career and alimony from her gay husband, the price was like nothing for her.

And it was totally worth it to see the satisfied gawks of the men as the models flounced around the penthouse in lingerie, passing out glasses of champagne. Even some of the women were staring, but that was probably because they were insanely jealous and were guessing which personal trainer the models worked with and what food they ate - if any.

In the meantime, the adult partygoers' children all sat on the floor of the billiard room two rooms away, huddled together as they sipped champagne, smoked weed, spread gossip, and eyed eachother with either suspicion or lust.

It was just like those parties you were always forced to attend when you were seven and the adults sat at one table while the children were forced to sit at another. . . Except this was a much more grown-up version of that and the children had no desire to be sitting with the adults thank you very much. They were all perfectly satisfied with their Sidekicks and their joints and their delicious eye candy. Everyone felt perfectly fine being holed up in the game room without their parents waddling over them and bragging about whose child was thinking about getting into what college.

Everyone except Blair, Nate, and Jenny of course, the only three people in the billiard room who were feeling tension in their stomachs rather than in their pants.

Jenny was busy throwing hateful glances across the room at Blair all night while the brunette sat on the carpet sipping Chardonnay and Nate stood near the pool table, playing with one of his stoner friends from St. Jude's and desperately trying to stay out of either girls' way.

And then suddenly the door to the game room banged open and in stepped Eleanor Waldorf, her arm locked with Leo Dunne's. The strapless Oscar de la Renta gown she was wearing shimmered brightly in the light of the room, making everyone in it cringe with distaste.

"Hello children," said Eleanor, welcoming herself into the room and beaming at all the teenagers happily. No one tried to hide their joints or their crystal tumblers full of liquor because it was a well-known fact with the royalty on the Upper East Side that parents let their children have an unlimited amount of weed and booze without a word. They felt that if they let their children do as they please, then they'd be less prone to becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs. And the less addicts in their family the better, because they did anything to avoid a scandal.

"Excuse me, but Leonardo's parents arrived late." She led the boy over to the wet bar and nearly pushed him into one of the stools to sit down. Then she smoothed out her dress and made her way back to the door. "I trust you children will behave yourselves?" She winked at the room in general and then grasped the gold doorknob on her way out. "Oh and Blair darling, please consider changing those shoes. They really don't go with that shirtdress you picked out."

Blair swallowed hard and could feel the bitter taste of hate on her tongue, but instead of telling her mom that she was way too old to be wearing a strapless Oscar de la Renta gown in response, she simply kicked the pair of heels she'd been wearing into the corner. Now she was barefooted.

"Happy?"

Eleanor smiled that way-too-sweet-to-be-real smile at them all one last time and then shut the door as she left the room. Blair couldn't believe her mother. Even after the heartwrenching conversation they had just hours before the party, the woman was still being a bitch and embarassing Blair in front of all her peers.

And what was worse was the fact that after Blair returned from the Archibald's townhouse, she'd been forced to lie to her mother and tell her that everything was now good between she and Nate. Which also meant pretending like they were the best of friends again whenever their parents were in earshot, when all she really wanted to do was toss her drink all over the dress Nate had bought Jenny for the party tonight and knee Nate in the balls.

When she'd first lied to her mother she thought it was the right thing to do considering the fact that in return she'd get to keep living in Manhattan. But now that she thought about it, maybe rehab in Conneticut wouldn't be so bad. At least there she wouldn't have to run into people like Serena van der Woodsen and Jenny Humphrey.

The only sounds that could be heard throughout the room were of the ice cubes clinking around in people's glasses and Nate's stick hitting the balls around on the pool table. Kati and Isabel were busy in their corner whispering to eachother inaudibly, Jenny was staring at both Blair and Leo with those hateful blue eyes now, and Leo was busy shifting uncomfortably on the stool he sat on, worried that Jenny would tackle him at any moment or snap another embarassing photograph of him when he wasn't looking.

The rest of the teens in the room were far too drunk or too high to take note of the tension cutting through the air. It made Blair want to hurl.

Nate was losing the game of pool to Charlie Dern, but he did have a pretty good excuse: he was distracted. His light blue eyes swept over the room for a moment, hoping to see everyone else talking and giggling and having a good time suddenly, but the arrival of Leo Dunne had only seemed to make things worse. . . Which sort of made sense, since he was Blair's facet for revenge on Jenny and also the reason Jenny was currently hating on Blair so much.

He sighed and ran a hand through his golden brown hair, suddenly wishing he hadn't brought Jenny along with him to this stupid benefit party. . .

But then again, after Blair had left his home and he'd finished showering and toweling off in his bathroom, he'd gone back into his bedroom only to find the young blonde still laying on his bed expectantly. It's as if Jenny had invited herself to the Waldorf's little soiree, so technically he wasn't the reason for all the Jenny-Blair tension that lingered through the air like an infectous disease.

. . .And just when everyone thought things couldn't possibly get any worse, the door banged open yet again. In stepped Georgie Spark, a form-fitting white strapless dress covering her body. One that accentuated her breasts and all the rest of her curves in such a beautiful way that every single girl in the room wanted to tackle her with disgust. Three-quarter-length gloves enveloped her hands and arms and her face was make-up free, except for the bloody red lipstick that she'd painted on, of course. She looked like a runaway bride without the veil.

Blair stood up abruptly, still barefooted and a little dizzy from all the champagne she'd been drinking. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, crossing her arms and making no attempts to hide her distaste in the girl.

What, had her mother invited every person on the planet that Blair currently wanted to drop dead? This was getting ridiculous.

"Hey, bitch!" Georgie's lips spread wide in a smile and she wrapped Blair in a tight hug, ignoring the girl's question completely. "Long time no see!" As she hugged Blair, she winked knowingly at Nate. Then she sat down on the carpeted floor beside Jenny and the other partygoers and snatched up an unattended champagne flute, downing it in one sip. She clinked glasses with a still-furious Blair and giggled wildly as if she knew she was the life of the party all along.

"So! Who's up for a game of I Never?"


Someone always ends up getting dissed in those games, so count me out. . . But guess who's IN? Why yes, our favorite Queen B. Is she perhaps finally ready to take revenge on Georgie, the girl who'd jeapordized her and C's relationship all over again? I'll be the first to know and you'll be the second. After all, I can never keep a secret. . .

and that's why you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter TWENTYSEVEN.

When Serena pushed the door of the bathroom open, her pale blonde hair still damp and her body clad in only a soft white towel, she came to the realization that her mother had already left, presumably to either Rufus' or Bart's. She dried her hair furiously with another towel and then tossed it into the hamper, gazing at her reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirror that was attatched to one of the walls of the sumptuous hotel suite, her face clearly reading distaste.

She couldn't quite place her finger on it, but she somehow looked uglier and shabbier than she had only yesterday. . .

Maybe it was because her eyes were a little swollen from all the crying she'd been doing, or her body looked a little thin from all the meals she'd been missing, but maybe it was something deeper, too. Maybe it was because she felt so rotten and miserable for the horrible way she'd broken up with Dan - and what was even worse was the fact that Dan didn't even have a legitimate reason for her break up with him. For all she knew, he could have been sitting in the dark of his abandoned loft, writing poetry or chain-smoking or fuming with anger or something. . .

She couldn't bear to think of him that way, so she began humming the words to Paramore's song "Crushcrushcrush" and dropped the towel that had been wrapped around her torso. She examined her naked body for a mere second. Then she padded her way over to her part of the suite where a Louis Vuitton suitcase lay sprawled across the floor, some of her clothes spilling out of it messily.

Serena zipped up a pair of cut-off Sevens, stuffed her feet into her favorite pair of scuffed brown suede boots, threw on her brother's white Oxford shirt with the frayed cuffs, and then traipsed back toward the door of the apartment, pulling it open and shutting it behind her as she went. Her blonde hair cascaded messily down her back and she hadn't put on make up of any sort, but she didn't care. She was going over to Chuck's to see if he'd heard anything about her mother and knew of her whereabouts. . . And if not, she'd go down to that Irish pub uptown and drink her troubles away so either way she had an activity to do.

She didn't feel like stuffing herself into a crowded, claustrophobic elevator which would probably take longer than the stairs anyway, so she pushed through the door that read Staricase and trampled down to the lobby, passing by Dexter and making her way for the glass doors. . . But then she noticed the hotel bar on the side of her eye and she couldn't help but turn in its direction.

If she was going to go to Chuck's she definitely needed a drink. . . Or two.



When Serena finally stepped out of the cab and onto the sidewalk just outside the Bass penthouse, she was thoroughly trashed. Her eyelids were already halfway closed, her head was spinning, and she stumbled rather than walked. But that still didn't stop her. She pushed through the glass doors, bypassing the white-gloved doorman completely, and stomped over to the elevator, her suede boots echoing all through the lobby as it banged against the marble floor.

People were already beginning to stare, most women thinking Serena was some drunken skank and most men wondering if she was wasted enough to want to do it with them.

The elevator took her to the very top floor, where the Basses (and now apparently her mother) lived. She strolled right into the penthouse and tossed her Chanel clutch onto a nearby chair. Almost immediately, she spotted Chuck sitting at the wet bar, nursing a bottle of Jose Cuervo and nothing else. "Oh, Chuck." She sighed, ran a hand through her hair, and hopped onto the circular stool beside him, resting a drunken head on his shoulder. "We're both so, so messed up."

Chuck could smell liquor on her breath. It made sense, because Serena would never come over here unless she was forced to or she was drunk. And this was clearly the latter. "Hey sis," he mumbled, taking another sip from the crystal tumbler he was holding. "I take it things aren't going so well?"

Serena groaned loudly but this time didn't scold him for calling her 'sis'. . . Maybe she was too drunk to even notice. "No no no. . . No, they aren't." She leaned forward, crossed her arms over the counter, and then rested her head on top of them like she always used to in elementary school. Chuck thought she might fall asleep right there, but then she stretched an arm out without lifting her head, pried the glass of alcohol from his fingers, and brought it to her own lips. Then she threw her head back and gulped it down.

"I broke up with Dan all because my mom's having a stupid affair with his dad and now she's making it like what I did was cruel and pointless and I just broke Dan's heart without good reason. Things aren't good at all, Chuck."

Of course the boy had had his suspicions, but he wasn't aware that the actual reason for Lily being up in Rufus' loft the other day was because they were sleeping together. She leaned back on her stool - so far back that she nearly fell over. Luckily Chuck extended his arms just in time to steady her and they both chuckled in their drunken stupor. Serena, however, was far more shitfaced than he was - which seemed pretty ironic to Chuck since these days it always seemed like he was the drunkard and Serena was the good girl.

She leaned in and hugged him tightly, resting her head against his chest. "Oh, C. I miss the way things used to be so much. Don't you miss the way things used to be?"

Chuck's mind flashed back to the photo album in his Motorola and he remembered one photo in particular: the one of Blair strangling him with his scarf playfully. The one where they'd looked so happy and careless and content. "Yeah, S. Yeah, I do."

Rather than hearing Serena respond, however, the sound of soft snoring slowly cut its way through the air and Chuck grinned. Serena never was one to hold down her alcohol, whether she was falling fast asleep in random places or vomiting all over people's clothing.

He wrapped his arms around her, stood up from his stool, and carried them both over to the leather couch. He set her gently on the cushion, fetched a blanket out of a nearby shelf, and then went back to the couch where he lay beside her and covered them both with the blanket. Then he clapped his hands once and the lights in the living room turned off.

And in no time they were both fast asleep, forgetting their heartbreak and slipping into dreamland. . .


Spotted: C resisting yet another intoxicated girl who could have been very easy given the situation. Just who are you saving yourself oh-so-tirelessly for? Well I think we all know, but it wouldn't hurt if you said it out loud once in a while. . .

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter TWENTYSIX.

Blair gazed warily at the Archibald townhouse that loomed ahead as the bright yellow taxi turned the corner and onto Nate's street. She felt a strange sensation in her stomach, like she had the butterflies or needed to pee or something. "Thank you," she told the cab driver half-heartedly, tossing him a ten and then stepping out of the vehicle before it even came to a complete stop beside the sidewalk. She slammed the door shut, ran a hand carefully through her wavy brown hair and pushed open the small-yet-beautiful front gate, her heels making loud hollow clicks as it met the cobblestone of the short path that led her from the sidewalk to the Archibald's house.

And before she knew it, Blair was standing in front of the tall French doors, wondering whether she should knock, ring, use the intercom system, or simply run away and never look back.

It had been her mother's idea for Blair to come here. Eleanor had insisted that if she were to let her daughter stay in the city until graduation and perhaps even longer, that things with Blair would have to change quite drastically. . . Starting with all her ruined relationships. Eleanor wanted Blair to apologize and cry and grovel - or in her words 'whatever it took' - to make amends. And while Nate was most certainly not the person Blair wanted to see right before dinner, she wanted to stay in the city more than anything and she knew that that request would come with a price. . . After all, the woman wasn't named Eleanor Waldorf for nothing.

So there Blair stood, one gloved hand poised into a fist and raised just a few inches from the door. . . But then she decided to just open it and barge right in instead of giving any of the Archibalds a heads up. That way, if Nate and/or one of the other Archibalds were asleep, all Blair needed to do was sneak back outside, return home, tell her mother that none of them were home, and no one would suspect a thing.

So she stood on the tips of her toes and reached on top one of the unlit lights that adorned the walls just near the enterance. There she found the house key, just like she'd expected. Nate had shown her where it was when they first started going out so that she could let herself in any time and sneak up to his room where they'd share ice cream and watch classic movies. . . This was back when they were young, of course; back when Nate still needed to hide a stool for Blair in a nearby bush so that she could stand on it and would be able to reach the light without falling over or having to leap into the air. She felt her fingertips touch the key and smiled mischeviously.

Then she unlocked the door and crept onto the marble floor of the townhouse. The smell of soap and weed filled her nose almost immediately and Blair rolled her eyes. It was clear Nate's parents weren't home, because usually she could hear them arguing softly up in their bedroom or lecturing Nate for something he had absolutely nothing to do with. . . Therefore, this was the oppurtune time for him to smoke up and forget about his troubles. She sighed. She knew him all too well.

Blair wandered up the steps toward his bedroom and the sound of the shower running pierced her ears, growing louder with each new step she took. Showering right after smoking? Now that didn't seem like him at all. . . Usually he'd go down to the pizza place and order five slices, swallowing each of them in two bites. . . No, for the four years she'd known him to be a smoker, he'd never showered directly after getting high, ever.

Something was amiss.

Taking the last step of the red-carpeted staircase, Blair finally found herself standing right in front of his closed bedroom door. She took a deep breath and smoothed out her skirt, prepared for the worse. The last time she spoke to him things hadn't gone all that well, what with all the yelling and him telling her to stay away for good and all. . .

Blair pushed the door open and as soon as she did so, a high-pitched shriek echoed throughout the townhouse, booming in her ears and making her cringe. She stepped inside and saw Jenny Humphrey scrambling for the blanket and using it to cover herself - but it was too late. Blair had already caught a sight of the fourteen-year-old's bare body and she was not happy.

The door to the adjoining bathroom banged open and Nate barged into the room wearing just a towel around his waist, his golden brown hair in damp waves and shower water glistening off his chest. The sight of him made Blair even more furious and she suddenly had the urge to throw a book at his head and kick Jenny's ass all over again. "What's wrong, Jennifer? I heard you sc--"

Then he noticed Blair folding her arms across her chest, arching an eyebrow and his voice trailed off. He swallowed hard. "Oh. Uhm. . . Blair, this isn't what it looks like."

Blair chuckled that bitter one she was so famous for and she walked over to the bedside table. "Oh really? So you didn't just sleep with the girl who had a hand in ruining my career and stealing all my friends? Oh, and let's not forget the part where she tried to jump me in the courtyard."

Nate looked lost for a second. Jenny hadn't told him that part of the story.

Then Blair flew the blanket off of a humilated Jenny and the young blonde screamed again, folding her arms across her chest protectively. Then she began searching the room with her crystal blue eyes, in desperate need of clothing. Blair scoffed. "Or what, was she just studying naked in your bed?"

He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "Save it, Nate. I've heard it all before."

Both he and Jenny looked flushed and reddish and Blair felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. She'd come to apologize only to find out her ex-boyfriend was sleeping with her worst enemy?! She suddenly felt extremely light-headed and like she needed to sit down, but as she looked around the room she saw that the only decent place to sit was on Nate's bed. And that certainly wasn't going to happen.

"Blair, let me expl--"

"So explain it to me, Nate! Are you trying to screw your way through the phone book or are you just obsessed with stealing all of my friends' virginites?!"

Nate looked taken aback for a second. "And since when is Jenny your friend? You've been pushing her around and manipulating her since day one and now all of a sudden you feel betrayed that we slept together when neither of us are even tied to you anymore?!" He wasn't about to let Blair shout at him until her face turned blue without fighting back. Blair was no saint either.

Her eyes narrowed into tiny slits. She wasn't crying like he'd half-expected her to be whenever she found out, she just looked really, really pissed. "You can't keep it in your pants for more than five seconds, can you Nate? I wasn't giving it to you so you went running to Serena and when you no longer had me or Serena, you scurried on over to the next skanky blonde!"

"Hey!" Jenny sat up in objection, holding Nate's silk bedspread against her chest.

Blair whirled around. "You, shut up! You don't get to speak!" Her nostrils were aflare and Jenny hadn't recalled a time when she'd seen Blair this upset. "Ever since we've met, you've wanted everything of mine: my clothes, Serena, and now Nate. Isn't it getting a little old, you bratty little homewrecker?!"

Jenny sneered. "And so what? Now there's suddenly a home to wreck? As I recall, you and Nate aren't together any longer."

"That's not even the point, Jenny! The point is you being so incredibly obsessed with emulating me in every possible way that you need to follow me in everything I do! In the clothes I wear, the guys I date. . . Pretty soon you'll have your name changed to Waldorf!"

Jenny opened her mouth to shout back a cold-hearted retort but Blair turned her back on them both, traipsing towards the door and slamming it behind her as she exited the room. "You two disgust me!" She called as she ran back downstairs.

Jenny watched her leave and then slumped against the headboard, sighing heavily. She glanced up at Nate who still looked shell-shocked. "Nate, I'm so s--" He turned to go back into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him, hoping Jenny would be gone when he came out. What the young blonde didn't realize was the fact that he'd been thoroughly baked when he'd slept with her and was in no state of mind to instigate a new relationship with a new girl.

This was just a one time thing, and that was that.


Never mind the people I'VE spotted today, where the real scandal's at is who B's spotted. . . Namely, her ex-boyfriend and Little J, both naked and in N's room. How romantic -- NOT.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl

chapter TWENTYFIVE.

Serena was still laying on the couch sobbing softly when Lily came home. The elder blonde's eyebrows arched in concern as she took in the sight of her daughter and she quickly threw off her coat and rushed over to the side of the couch, kneeling down to look into Serena's big navy blue eyes. "What's wrong, dear?" she asked her daughter, her eyes seeming to pity both the young girl lying before her as well as herself.

And why wouldn't she be pitying herself? Serena thought about her mom. After all, she'd split up Lily and Rufus without any regards to either of their feelings or their relationship as a whole. . . Just the thought made fresh tears slide down her cheeks all over again.

And the lump in her throat had only multiplied, of course.

Lily stood up and loosened the cashmere scarf she'd been wearing around her neck. Then she scooted her daughter's legs aside gently so that she could take a seat on the couch just beside her, beginning to stroke the teen's pale blonde hair and shake her head in sympathy before she even knew what was wrong.

"Serena, please. Talk to me sweetie."

Serena recalled a time when Lily would never call her daughter things like 'darling' or 'sweetie' and now that she thought about it, it was only after Dan came into the van der Woodsen's lives that Lily had begun to change for the better. It came as a sudden realization to her that the Humphreys were the ones who had saved the van der Woodsens. . .

So Serena just shut her eyes even tighter, hoping that if and when she reopened them she'd somehow find herself in an alternate universe where everything was back to where it was; back to being perfect. Where Blair's reputation wasn't ruined and she didn't hate Serena's ever fiber. Where Serena didn't have to choose between her relationship with Dan and her mother's relationship with Rufus. Where she didn't find herself crying alone in a hotel suite for two hours straight until her mother finally came to console her at six thirty p.m.

"My whole life has fallen apart," Serena finally responded, her lower lip quivering involuntarily. She knew she sounded a bit dramatic and almost exactly like Blair, but what could one expect after Serena had broken up with the only guy she'd ever loved and found herself basically abandoned in her time of need? . . .She needed Blair's shoulder to cry on.

"Oh, Serena," Lily sighed and leaned over to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "I know it may seem like that now, but as my grandmother used to tell me whenever I cried, 'This too shall pass.'" She tucked a strand of Serena's long blonde hair behind the ear and locked eyes with the girl, offering her a hopeful smile. "Everything will be okay. I promise."

Serena wiped her eyes and sat up, grabbing the silk throw pillow she'd been resting her head on and hugging it to her chest. She couldn't bring herself to look at Lily, though, because she was afraid that if she looked at her mother she'd start blaming her for her break up with Dan. And she knew that would be wrong.

"I, uhm. . . I broke up with Dan, mom," she whispered.

Lily's hand flew up to her chest in that innate-mother sort of way and Serena was sure she looked taken aback, but she still couldn't look up to meet her mom's eyes to be sure. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Come here." She pulled her daughter into a tight hug and closed her eyes. She honestly knew what it felt like to lose her first love, especially so suddenly.

When the hug was finally broken, Lily took Serena's chin into her hand and locked eyes with her daughter, who seemed a bit reluctant to do so. "But why? Why did the two of you break up?"

Serena contemplated whether or not she should come out with the truth to her mother.

On the one hand, if she did, then her decision would probably seem more rational and less horrible. But on the downside, if her mother knew the real reason she'd broken it off with Dan, she'd no doubt break Rufus' heart beyond repair to spare her daughter's. . . And if Serena didn't tell her mother, she'd have to feel ten times worse about dumping Dan than she already did and also face the guilt that came with lying so bluntly.

When did life get so horribly complicated? When had Serena finally crossed the line and found herself tangled in a web so full of deceit and lies and painful decisions?

Letting a shaky breath escape her lips, Serena finally looked her mom dead in the eye and opened her mouth to speak: "I know about you and Rufus."

Lily's hands dropped to her lap and she immediately began picking at a loose thread that was jutting out from the skirt she'd purchased at Berdorf's last weekend. A sinking feeling rose in her stomach and now it was she who was avoiding the eyes of her daughter. She knew it was no use asking her daughter how she could possibly know such a tender piece of information.

"I saw the two of you at Dan's house earlier," said Serena as if reading her mother's mind. Her voice was void of emotion, but only because she was so used to hiding it. Inside, she felt herself coming apart at the seams.

Lily's glassy blue eyes flicked over to Serena, her eyebrows furrowed with remorse and sadness. "Serena, I cannot begin to explain how sorry I am for doing this. . ." She swallowed hard. "I know you're in love with Dan and you asked me to stop seeing Rufus, but I--"

"Mom, stop." Serena placed her hand on her mother's in an attempt to comfort her. "It should be me apologizing to you. Look, I should have never been so selfish in asking you to stop seeing the one man you actually cared about. I. . ." Tears had begun spilling down her face before she even knew it. The only reason she'd even noticed them was because she felt them dripping onto the pair of True Religion jeans she was wearing.

". . .I'm just so sorry, mom."

They both hugged eachother once again and this time they only stopped when Lily put two and two together. She leaned back against the couch and gazed into her daughter's eyes in search for an honest answer, just in case Serena didn't give her one. "Wait. . . Serena, did you break up with Dan because of what Rufus and I were talking about in his loft? Did you overhear us?"

Serena sat there in silence for a moment and then stood up, extracting herself from her mother's gentle grip and walking over to the front door where she picked up the damp coat she'd dropped earlier. "I'm going to go take a shower, mom. I'll be back out in a minute."

Lily stood up quickly and grabbed her daughter by the arm. "Serena, if that's what this is really about then you need to tell me. Because if we really want it all to work out, then it will. You can't just give up on the one person you honestly love when one silly little bump in the road comes along. Rufus and I, you and Dan - if it's meant to be, then it will happen, Serena. . . I should know. Even after all of these years of Rufus and I not speaking, we bump into eachother a few months ago all by coincidence?" She smiled that small, hopeful smile down at her daughter. "We both know better."

Serena's eyes remained unfocused on anything in particular, but Lily hoped she was getting through to her.

Then finally the teen responded: "Really, mother. . ." Her voice was still hoarse and so soft that Lily could barely hear her. "I haven't showered since SoHo and I'm drenched in rainwater."

And with that, she turned on her heels and disappeared around a corner, her footsteps echoing around the hotel suite even as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.


I think it's actually sweet the way L doesn't want her daughter to lead a life like hers or make the same mistakes she made. . . But that's just me.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl