chapter EIGHTEEN.

Chuck had been sitting in the back of all his classes since the seventh grade and it was no different, now. He sat in the last seat, in the last row, of the last class of the day, pretending to listen to Mr. Stein ramble on and on about the age of Imperialism and the British versus the Boers, when really his focus was on Nate who sat slumped in the first row, his head resting in his hand.

Every time Chuck looked at him, a sinking feeling pulsated all through his body and he couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt. He'd betrayed his best friend for the girlfriend. And while Chuck wasn't much of a regretful person, lately he'd been changing, if even slightly. He no longer looked at women as just an object of sexual pleasure and he no longer strived to step on other peoples' toes for his own entertainment. Being in a relationship with Blair and having Nate put him in his place had seriously changed his outlook on life, whether he liked it or not.

Now all he needed to do was find a way to get the people he loved most back into his life.

He'd heard of Blair's 'return' to Constance before he even knew she'd gone away. The rumors that were floating throughout school - both Constance and Jude's - were completely outlandish and he refused to believe any of them. Blair moving to France to force her father to help take care of her nonexistant child was impossible and her sleeping with an entire band in a hotel suite was unthinkable. He knew her better than that.

"Okay, class, that's it for today. You can be excused early," said Mr. Stein, the only words that any of the boys in his class had actually listened to.

Chuck watched Nate stuff his History book into his bag and hitch it up on his shoulder, looking at the ground with those navy blue eyes as he exited the class. Every boy in school knew about their little fight and they'd even started spreading nasty rumors about Chuck and Nate; namely that they were bisexual lovers and Blair had come between them.

Hello? They were Chuck and Nate, not Chuck and Larry!

He slowly followed Nate to the courtyard where he then caught up to him quickly and grasped him firmly by the arm. Nate turned around but as soon as he saw who it was, he tried to pry himself free from Chuck's grip. "Let me go, Chuck. Or I swear to God, I'll--"

"Spare me the lecture, Nathaniel," Chuck cut him off. He was, indeed, sorry for all the trouble he'd caused, but in no way was he about to let Nate Archibald push him around and think he had the upper hand. He knew the only way to get through that thick skull of Nate's was to challenge the boy's anger with even more anger. . . Even though technically, Chuck didn't really have a reason to be angry at him. "I feel bad about what I did as it is, and I'm sorry."

Nate laughed bitterly. "Boy, that word's being bounced around the Upper East Side more than I can count these days. I tell you what - save your sorry and take my advice instead. Stay the hell away from me. You need me to spell it out?"

Chuck looked taken aback and before he could give an icy retort, Nate pried himself loose and began walking the other way, his hands visibly clenched into fists now. Ever the persistent one, however, Chuck followed Nate and placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him around yet again. "I'm not saying sorry just to say it this time, Nate. I really am. . . For everything."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, suddenly desperate for a joint or a cigarette or a scotch.

"Yeah, well you've done some pretty low shit in your life, Chuck, but I've always stuck by you nonetheless; through thick and thin! And the one time I actually need you, I find out you're sleeping with my girlfriend. . ." He shook his head. Even as he said it, he could hardly believe it.

"No, Nate, I didn't mean--"

"Just shut up, Chuck! For once in your goddamn life just shut up! You obviously don't get it. My dad's gone, up in rehab, and my mom's either visiting him up there or crying her eyes out in her bedroom. You and Blair were the last two people in my life I could trust and in an instant, you took all that away from me." He fished a joint out from his pocket, lit it up, and sucked on it as if it were his lifeline. "You and Blair deserve each other, simple as that. You're both calculating, manipulative, and hypocritical."

Nate turned to leave for the third time and this time Chuck didn't follow him. He just watched him walk away.

"Have a nice life!" Nate called over his shoulder, turning the corner of the school and disappearing from sight. Possibly for good.


Spotted: C and N going through yet another public break up, right outside St. Jude's. Hmm. I guess B's not the only one left all alone, with no one to turn to. So are C, N, S, and D. Who would've thought that the only one with a strong circle of friends would be little J? . . .But as per usual on the Upper East Side, things never stay the same for too long. You know who'll be watching; and of course. . .

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl