chapter SEVENTEEN.

"Seriously, B, why are you taking me to Brooklyn?" Leo Dunne asked her as they walked arm-in-arm on the cement sidewalk. Blair's dark brown eyes were focused skyward in an attempt to spot Jenny's grubby old apartment. Yes, her plan would definitely work. She'd skipped fourth period just to set this plan into motion and she knew full well that her brilliant ideas would shatter Jenny's dream of going out with Leo forever. And oh, she couldn't wait.

"Just shut up, okay? You'll see when I show you!"

Leo shook his head. "Well first of all, I'm missing lacrosse practice in Central Park for this, and second of all if I'm seen talking with you, who knows what everyone will think! If you haven't noticed, you're not really Constance's pageant queen anymore."

Blair's teeth clenched and she flashed him a warning look, silently telling him not to say anything like that to her ever again. "My reputation may be in the ruins right now, but I am still a Waldorf, Leo. You'll do what I say. . . And besides, trust me when I tell you that when I show you this you won't be mad that I did."

Finally, they came upon the large front door to Jenny's building and Blair yanked it open. The elevator was broken, forcing them to drag their feet all the way up to almost the top floor. Blair kept telling herself it would be worth it, though, while Leo remained surprisingly silent, his curiosity now officially peaked. And the effect the stairs had on him certainly didn't have the same effect that it had on Blair, mainly because his legs and arms and abs were toned and taught from all the sports he played. He had experienced this sort of workout while clearly Blair had not.

Dan had once told Serena where they kept their spare key (right under the rug) and of course, being her best friend, Serena had told Blair as well. . . Back when they were still friends, of course.

Blair knelt down, tossed the hideous rug aside, and snatched up the key, unlocking the front door and pushing it open. She wasn't sure whether or not the house would be completely empty when she'd planned all of this, but the eery silence that emanated all throughout suggested that it was. "Okay, come on," Blair waved Leo inside and he reluctantly obeyed her.

"Where are we? Is this like your hideout now, after getting your rep wrecked? 'Cause if it is I genuinely feel sorry for you. This place looks like shit!" Blair rolled her eyes, took his hand in hers, and dragged him right across the loft and over to Jenny's bedroom.

"This is where Jenny Humphrey lives. You know, that weird girl who has a crush on you?"

Leo's mouth dropped slightly. "This is where Jenny lives?"

She chuckled. "Don't worry. It gets better."

Blair opened the room's door and peeked inside. Yes. Everything was there, just as she'd left it. "By the clothes she wore, I just figured she lived in one of those penthouses on Fifth Avenue or something, like you and the Basses. . ." Leo wondered aloud, still awestruck.

Blair laughed even harder. "Don't be silly. Just one of those dresses is probably what her dad pays for rent here. They're my hand-me-downs. . . And anyway, I thought you should know what the true Jenny was like before you got involved with her. Come look at this."

She pushed the door open fully and led him inside. She gestured to Jenny's small, twin bed first. "That's the Hello Kitty bedspread that she's had since she was like four. And over there's a framed picture of her cat. I mean how pathetic can one person get?"

Leo glanced at Blair warily. "O-kay. . ."

But wait. Now came the juciest part. . . The part Blair had organized. Sure, the picture and bedspread were embarassing, but they were the truth. What she'd show Leo next was far from the truth, but much more intriguing.

Blair yanked open a droor and pulled out the padded bra she'd planted there before coming to school. "What little boobs you thought she had weren't even the real thing. She probably just hit puberty last month." Then she couldn't help grinning at the shocked and befuddled expression on Leo's face. She tossed a pink notebook in his direction and he caught it rather clumsily. "There must be at least fifty pages about you in her diary, and she only met you, what - yesterday?"

Of course, Jenny did keep a diary, but that certainly was not it. The diary she did keep was hidden under her pillow and locked. . . And there actually were a few pages about Leo in there already. Not that Blair had the time to turn the girl's room upside-down just to look for a diary. Blair had simply created a new one, writing tons and tons of creepy passages in it just for Leo's benefit: I met Leo Dunne a few hours ago, outside the Park, and I think I'm in love. . . I wonder what dress I'll wear for the wedding. Let's hope daddy can afford one. . . I bet our children would be attractive. . . And so on and so forth.

"And, finally, here's a pile of pictures she's taken of you while you weren't looking. I think she's like a stalker or something," said Blair, plopping an inexpensive shoebox on Jenny's bed for Leo to see. He dropped the diary and walked over to the box. There he was shaving in his bathroom. That one had clearly been taken from across the street. Secondly, there he was buying a large dog from a Hot Dog vendor near Central Park. And then there were a few of him actually eating it. The last few were in black and white, of him walking up the steps of St. Jude's with his swarm of friends by his side.

"And just imagine," said Blair. "These are only ones she's taken today. Who knows what other stuff she's caught you doing on camera?"

Leo swallowed hard. "I, um. . . I need to get back to school. There's something I gotta do."

He turned quickly and stumbled out of the room, looking dizzy and confused and officially creeped out. Blair watched him as he slammed the front door to the Humphrey loft shut, and a satisfied grin appeared on her lips.

And that's how it's done.


Wow, B, you're even more devious than any of us thought. This time you didn't have C to turn to for a plan, but you still managed to come up with something equally devilish anyway. I'm afraid I underestimated you, you naughty thing. . .

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl