chapter TWENTY.

Serena ran a hand through her pale blonde hair and sighed as the taxi driver finally pulled into the street where the Humphrey's lived and slowed the car to a stop. She leaned forward, gave him a twenty and a ten, smiled gratefully, and then pulled the handle of the door open, stepping outside and shutting the door behind her. Her favorite pair of brown suede boots hit the pavement and she pulled the grand doors to the enterance of the building open. Some electricians seemed to be working on the eleveator, so she had to take the stairs up to their apartment.

She'd returned home from South Hampton that morning just like Blair had, only she'd arrived several hours after her, which is why she'd been a few minutes late to school. Serena didn't mind, though, because that meant by the time she arrived, all the other students were already piled into their classrooms and either snoozing softly on their desks or working hard on their respective assignments, too tired or busy to notice her, let alone spread their harmful gossip. . . And it also meant she didn't have to face Blair, her apparent enemy. (Not only was it hard to keep track of the guys she liked, it was also hard to keep track of who Blair's friends were and weren't.)

By the time Serena reached the top step, she was throwing off her Constance Billard uniform jacket and vest. If she could, she would have shed the skirt as well, but seeing as she was about to barge into the Humphrey residence, she thought it'd be best if she didn't.

Since she hadn't spoken to Dan for almost two days now, she'd decided to go straight to his apartment and surprise him, right after school. And she'd spent all of her lunch period trying to avoid Blair just in case the brunette decided to take revenge on Serena as well, so she hadn't had a chance to see Dan at all since her return. . . She didn't want things in their relationship to get worse after they'd uttered those three most important words to each other.

Pressing her ear against the door, Serena grinned when all she heard silence. Maybe Dan was asleep and she could jump on him right then and there, kissing him all over the place and waking him up in the best way she knew how. Oh, he'd love that.

Turning the doorknob to the left and slowly, silently pushing it open, Serena stood on the tips of her toes and gave herself access to their home.

As she continued making her way toward the Humphrey's bedrooms, however, the faint sounds of voices drifted through her ears and she tensed up. Was Dan home? And if so, who was he talking to? Now that her curiosity was officially at its peak, Serena's footsteps became quicker. She came even closer to the bedroom area of the loft and realized that rather than coming from Dan or Jenny's room, the sounds were in fact coming from Rufus'.

His door was closed, but two people were definitely talking in there. And one was a woman.

Serena knew it was wrong to butt in to other people's affairs, but she could no longer seem to help herself. Getting down on her hands and knees, she crawled over to the crack between the door and the floor and closed one of her navy blue eyes, focusing the other one on the inside of the room.

Rufus and some blonde woman were sprawled atop the bed, a plain black blanket covering them both. The woman he was with had her head resting on his chest and since Rufus was higher, his whole face as well as his bare shoulders were visible to Serena.

"Oh, Rufus, you know we really shouldn't be doing this," came the woman's voice. And immediately Serena recognized it: Mom?!

"Let's be honest here, Lil." Rufus began stroking her hair and then rested his head on hers, a small, exhausted smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "The only reason you said yes to Bart was for your family's own welfare. You said so yourself."

Serena could barely make out the sight of her mom shaking her head.

"Yes, but it's not just that. Serena and Dan. . . They're a couple, now. They're in love. And as much as I love you, Rufus, I couldn't bare to take away my daughter's love in the same way mine was taken from me." She sighed and leaned upward so that she could kiss him tenderly. "I should have never let you go so easily." Her head fell back on his chest.

The smile on Rufus' face faded and the only other person who knew it was Serena.

She couldn't stand watching them any longer, so she stood back up, smoothed her skirt out, and snuck over to the front door, slipping back outside and picking up the rest of her Constance uniform, throwing it back on. A painful lump lingered in her throat. Serena hadn't even realized her own selfishness when she'd asked her mother to stop seeing Rufus. She'd been so dizzy in love with Dan at the time that all she'd been thinking about was herself. . .

And now she couldn't help reconsidering. Whose happiness was more important?


Always the one plagued with guilt, S seems to have another weighty decision on her hands. So what'll it be, dear? Your heart or your mother's? Because I guarantee that one will have to be broken.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl