chapter TWENTYNINE.

Serena groaned softly and sat up in the couch, her eyes shut in an attempt to resist what little light that remained in the room and her head throbbing forcefully. When she finally braved the pain and allowed her eyes to flutter open, she realized she was in Chuck's room. On his couch. Laying beside him. . . Her eyes bulged, but to her relief she still had all her clothes on. She didn't even remember coming here but from the display on Chuck's countertop, it was obvious they'd been drinking.

A half-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo, a metallic flask, a bottle of Vodka, and several crystal tumblers provided all the proof she needed to realize she'd probably made a huge, embarassing mistake in coming here. And she needed to get home and find her mother and confess just how scared and lonely and reluctant she felt about her life as a whole.

She threw the blanket off her and hopped away from the leather couch but to her surprise Chuck remained asleep throughout the entire thing, his eyes still shut and soft snores coming from his half-open mouth. She smiled as she surveyed his sleeping figure for a moment, but when her eyes caught a glimpse of the clock on the nearby end table she rushed over to the front door and stuffed her feet into the pair of shoes she'd been wearing. Then she yanked his door open and stepped outside, sauntering towards the elevator and pressing Down at least ten times.

What was I thinking in coming here? she scolded herself as she glanced at her reflection in the silvery doors of the elevator, running a hand through her blonde hair and fixing the collar of the sweater she was wearing. Oh wait - I wasn't.

Finally the elevator swung open and Serena trampled over to the revolving doors, pushing past them and hailing a cab as soon as her high heels hit the pavement. That's when she realized how painfully cold it was outdoors on the Upper East Side, especially at midnight and in January. In her drunken stupor while coming here, she must have overlooked the part where she brought along a coat that was thick enough to keep her warm.

Luckily a taxi screeched to a halt just in front of her and Serena dove into the backseat, slamming the door shut behind her. Why couldn't it have been May? May was so much warmer.

"The Palace, please," she instructed the cab driver. He glanced at her through his rearview mirror and noticed she was hugging herself, shivering slightly.

"You need me to join you back there?" he asked her gruffly. Serena met his gaze in the mirror and noticed the mischevious grin plastered over his face. "I'll keep you warm."

Serena felt like she needed to throw up even more than she had when she'd first woken up to a hangover in the Bass home. "No thanks. You know what, though? What you can do is pull over. I'll walk."

He frowned tauntingly as if to say you're-no-fun and Serena just glared back at him with disgust. She didn't feel like getting hit on by some skeezy cab driver on her way home from a drinking binge, thank you very much. So as soon as he pulled to a stop she hopped out of the cab, slammed the door, and went on walking in the general direction of The Palace Hotel, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to protect herself from both the harsh wind and any more desperate perverts who wanted to 'keep her warm.'



By the time she got to the van der Woodsen suite she couldn't feel her hands, her nose, or her ears, and her hair was damp from the gentle downpour that had occured on her way back home. She took the elevator up to her floor and as she walked across the carpeted hall towards her door, keys in hand, she noticed someone sitting down outside her home, his back against the wall and his head hung low. Something was in his hand.

Oh, great. Another perve?

Serena got closer to the door - already prepared to jam the sharpest key she had into the stranger's eye - but as she did so, she realized she recognized the 'stranger' sitting before her. It was none other than Dan Humphrey.

Already, she felt like crying.

Hopefully he hadn't come to yell at her about their break up, because she really didn't feel like she could handle any more of that. Being lectured by Dan and then her mom had been punishment enough. Plus, she'd already been scolding herself for the wrongs she'd committed ever since yesterday: first suggesting her mother break up with Rufus and then breaking up with Dan herself. She'd been feeling miserable ever since, and the painful headache due to the over-intake of alcohol didn't help her much, either.

"Hey." He slowly brought his head up to lock eyes with her.

"Hey." She offered a weak smile and fumbled with her keys.

They stood there in silence for a while, as if both of them were waiting for eachother to say something. To say they regretted their actions and loved eachother too deeply to break up over something so petty and really wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. . . But for whatever reason, neither of them said so. They just continued to stand there, gazing into eachother's eyes so deeply they thought they might drown in eachother's pupils.

Then Serena sighed and forced herself to snap out of it, extending her arm to unlock the door to the van der Woodsen suite. Just as she heard the soft 'click' and was about to step inside, Dan stood up and touched her arm, tenderly restricting her from doing so. "Wait, Serena. . . Just wait."

Serena's navy blue eyes drooped to the carpet. "What do you want, Dan?" She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and then looked up at him once more. His face still seemed a little blurry from all the alcohol, but the long walk through the city's fresh air had cured her of most of her drunkeness. Now her vision was just slightly impaired and she had a throbbing headache as a reminder of her rash decisions.

Silence filtered the air once again, but just as she was about to push open the door to her home for the second time he stopped her: "I. . . wanted to give you this." He placed the folded up pieces of paper he'd been holding in her hand and surveyed her reaction. She still looked like she was about to cry.

"Dan, if you're going to tell me about the new girl you're seeing or the poem you've written about how over me you are, then I'd really rather hear it from you rather than read it on a piece of paper."

Dan shook his head. "No, Serena. That's not it at all. . . Look, I know you're scared and you're confused and you're hurt, but when you broke up with me I don't think you really meant it. Even if you think you did--"

"I didn't."

Something resembling relief flashed in his eyes, suddenly making them both feel a bit better about their shitty situations. "You didn't. . . Well good." He tried his best not to smile. "Good. Because I almost just made a fool of myself, so--" He reached out to grab the paper back from her, but Serena stuck it behind her back, making no effort to hide the grin on her lips.

"Why? What does this say?"

Dan chuckled nervously. "Come on. You said you didn't mean it, so it doesn't matter does it?"

Serena giggled. "Well that depends. Is this a love note or a break up letter?" She turned around so that Dan still wouldn't be able to grab the paper from her as she unfolded it. Her eyes swept across the page briefly and she turned back to him. "Wait, what is this? Isn't--?"

"It's the story Vanessa published in The New Yorker. . . The one about you." He seemed a little embarassed, as if he was now realizing that giving her the story to convince her to get back together with him was actually pretty girly of him. It made him seem even more adorable in Serena's eyes, though.

"But you've already shown me this. I don't understand how--"

"You didn't read it yet. You still don't know about the time I spoke to you at that party in Williamsburg or just how long I've been in love with you, Serena." He swallowed hard. "So I was going to give it to you to read and just hope you'd fall in love with me all over again." He laughed lamely and then tried to grab it from her again, but she turned back around.

"Hold on," she demanded gently. Then her eyes swept back over the page and she parted her lips to recite the words he'd written: "'Her name is Serena van der Woodsen and I love her. . . Which might come as quite a shock to her if she were around to hear those words coming from me because. . . Well, she doesn't know who I am. The first and only time I spoke to her was at this party at The Palace Hotel. I wasn't even invited, but when my sister told me about it and told me she'd be there, I knew I had to see for myself. When I got there, everyone was running around the hotel suite half-naked, smoking cigars and sipping champagne. . . Everyone but Serena. I looked around the room for her and finally spotted her sitting on the couch, her head hung low and a half-empty crystal tumbler in her hand. She looked so lonely - which came as a shock to me since she was Serena van der Woodsen - but after having a few sips of champagne myself, I finally got the courage to go up and talk to her. She was nicer than I expected her to be - even though she was probably drunk - and I'm pretty sure she thought I was someone else, but as pathetic as it is to admit, that's the day I finally knew what love felt like. . . Maybe one day Serena will join me in it.'"

Dan was leaning against the wall, absolutely sure that at any moment Serena would burst out laughing and realize just how cheesy and lonely her boyfriend was.

But to his utter surprise, once she was done reading the story and she looked up, she had tears in her eyes. . . And then she threw the story aside and rushed into Dan's arms, kissing him with more passion than she knew she had.

Dan was surprised, of course, but in no time he got into it as well, running a hand through her blonde hair and kissing her back. She pushed him into the door of her home and he reached behind him with his free hand, turning the doorknob, opening the door, and stumbling into the suite backwards.

And not once did they stop kissing.

The modern day fairy tale of the Lonely Boy and the Fallen It Girl. . . Sure the classics are nice, but let's face it: the story about the prince and the princess was getting a bit dull.

you know you love me.
xoxo; gossip girl